The man who fell to EARTH

Sometimes I feel like the man who fell to earth. Everything I can say or do is exceptionally homeward. If I think I have a link of reprisal to what is happening to me, it only spurs me on (sometimes) making me resolved to it--solutioned. Nothing to be helped. In Israel, in Petah Tikvah, I was staying with a Sefardic family (non-European, Iraqi-Morrocan in fact), very modern convenient situation. And to get out one afternoon to stretch my legs, maybe walk down to the beach was a way of LOOSING a BORN feeling of walking the PROUD land. (As opposed to a reasoned, weathered appeasement that hill & dale was gainful in my intensity toward it.) I got down the street & felt overcome w/thresholds & loss. Had I gone further, it was plain to me in those few moments I would have been lost & helpless to find my way back--Mediterranean neighborhood in all its modernity; I was desperate to rebound from the little sandy path leading me towards the unknown back to the apt. block & condo where they lived=homeward, no other choice. At this moment I felt like I had stretched to the limits of a starry cosmos, but a thousand points of lights (excuse the origin of those last words, seriously..., I read the same thing in "The Jew in the Lotus.") had me gathered all along with no way to get outside the box!! This is wholly symbolic of the Brahmanic reality, where there is nothing outside the known, & to think yourself outside the box leaves what is manifest only that much more the goal of what you seek. We are Positivists.