The last time I fell from Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

The last time I did Acid I was 25yrs old. I remember thinking how well over I felt from the compunction to do that again--yet I did. It was with my buddy Jimmy. Had a dream he tried to get me to do LSD, 3 tabs. I demurred, as I saw the next 12 hrs open up like a lit valley. Things opened up as if I could intuit what small statement of presence the mind sore would elicit... upon me as objectively as say intellectual anguish would report. The house and room we occupied was in some European city, and wine and cheese was served. Just watched Albert Hoffman's Delysid product--the first commercial supposed use and product, as it was discussed in a documentary about origins of this drug, circa like 1943.
Seems from having used "A" I take some kind of recommendation from anything my mind alights to that may indicate "the organ of consciousness working with one and against itself." *To borrow Neitzsche's word for something relating to the dionysian reality. So I heard voices upon laying my head down--and this is a perfect peak observable fact. Dialogue from the day, maybe, but more like pulses, echos. Ego says I'm here, and understood, someone tells me so. Obligation to I & Thou, or We, says NO expectation, and courageously half-thoughts is become a clear first breath, 1rst step into light. I'm not obliged to relate to shadowy identity, I feel. Half-light, jettisoning self-preservation. As all belief, say in what an Other would do to make me part of the Open Crowd, is the promise of Security, so unwillingly we are driven to conceive that that goes away. The question is Why Indulge? As the ego is a surfeit of layers upon layers of compromise, to homogenous self-security: like saying, well, we do it because it has another's precedent. There's a pattern there that should be graver, is the moral of this tale. It it isn't community's ideal that we may reduce ourselves to.

For so long we've said life was hard. Now what has made you show that humilty, is this belief, that is life as we know it. And belief curries no favor. It's hard to believe in as much as it is hard to be humble before this compassion edifice. This is a lament, not anything dour.