apropos of a WET SNOW

Living in active pursuit towards experiencing your interests is a waiting game for it to catch up w/ you, over take you, but you are the hunted--it is gainful to look at it this way & we do. But when there is a lack of pursuing of activity one begins to haunt the very grounds where you were once caught-- caught up in life's grand reward. The waiting now becomes superceded by the duly noted objective, your not there to spend time now. Haunting is like chasing thunder, it can be all around you (this thing you've gravitated toward), but you have only suceeded in becoming soaked & beyond its report. (a pop, a flash, a bubble, a shadow... {Kerouac}) You're terminally late, not unlike a spirit. Relating to this somehow is a goal I had one time of grabbing the horns of relationship's BULL, riding it out, & not sacrificing my self-respect: I had nothing better to do at the time, in other words. So I break into my girl-friend's car w/ a wire hangar, she drove a big black Eldorado which I subsequently kicked leaving a dent in the front fender. It is February probably, cold out & I wanted to rummage through her ashtray to find an old roach to smoke. She is in the restaurant across the street working. Found, I sit there smoking in the flurrying rain listening to the radio. Now the haunting begins of an old mind that knows to commune with relationship means something other than this...